I Will 'Always' Love You!
Greetings to you. It is good to be with you again. Our subject this morning is one of human conventionality. In the days of our youth, we 'dreamed' of those times when we would 'look over' to one side of the bed and say, 'I love you!' But somehow today, that doesn't happen that much anymore! But why? Almost everyone today seems to think they're some kind of Clinical 'Psychologist!' But most are not qualified for this position by a long shot! But talk they will and advise. They will attempt to fulfil this position! What is it about people that they feel 'so smart' when it comes to 'someone else'? That statement says a lot about the 'Psychology' of today!
What is it in our history as a people, (an interracial species) that initiates such 'intellectual brilliance' when it does 'not' pertain to us! The psychiatry of the mind stipulates most reactionary impulses are hereditary. But how 'Doctoral' minded were our ancestors? It seems that 'Love' is a very philosophically 'old' game indeed! We subsequently position ourselves as 'experts' in seeing falsehoods and lies in (again) everybody but, ourselves!
Generally, most University 'Psychiatric' courses may teach us that 'Mr. and Mrs. 'right' for a marriage 'does not exist'! I know during our rather 'brief' training period of 'toddler to puberty' development, the female in our society is groomed extensively for love and marriage. With dreams of being 'carried away by love' in the arms of a brilliantly handsome, rich, and aggressive suitor! And the man from childhood thinks of Guns, the military, and later as a teenager, 'sexual triumph' over all the competition! These are two 'diametrically opposed' viewpoints! (And never the twain- (it seems) shall ever meet!)
So then, most of us, (no matter how rich or educated) are not prepared for the rigorous consequences of a successful marriage, or for that matter, 'an intense love affair'! While I am 'not' a 'Psychiatrist' that analyzes brain health, I am a 'Chemist' that attempts to understand the science of 'many' afflictions, such as, 'Schizophrenia, and Depression!' These two afflictions are far more common than many realize in day-to day human operations. A licensed Medical Doctor should be implored to use the: "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders." Fifth edition! Whenever diagnosing and medically treating these and other serious mental related diseases.
'Depression' is 'sometimes' another matter. Depression is an ongoing problem, and many times not just a passing one. It consists of episodes in which the symptoms can last for weeks, months, or even years at a time! And almost 'everyone' has their own, personal diagnosis! This is because couples and people in general, (with or without symptoms) lay claim (for a multitude of reasons) to this commonly found illness! 'Depression' is sometimes used by ordinary lay-people to diagnose everything from 'A to Z'! But there is no answer for 'Money, In-laws, or Children' (even from a previous marriage) who may be responsible for a multitude of 'scratch-less' problems! The idea of marriage may have originated in 'heaven' but applying it here on Earth can be disastrous!
In medicine, some feel the human mechanism, requires an 'electrical boost' from rather mundane impulses, but this needs an educational source of valuation. The 'hypothalamus' part of our brains physiological system, controls many of our daily functions. Like our hormone-pituitary distribution system, and body temperature levels. Whenever something goes wrong with this mechanism, weird and unruly things can happen! Then see a licensed medical doctor! Many 'normal' seeming things also happen on a daily basis, confusing lay people. These marriages or 'convenient relationships' are so easy for one to 'get into, and so difficult to 'easily' get out of!
Brain (work-up) scans for both long term and recent loving couples showed activity in the 'Ventral Tegmental' area (VTA) with a high 'dopamine' concentration, which is associated with motivation and reward. Also, long term (10 years +) couples have the highest continual romantic love levels of brain activity in this study. It seems to 'pay' handsomely to stay together! As longevity pays increasing benefits by staying together. (Whenever possible!)
Does the anatomical differences between men and women 'show-up' in our heads? When scientists adjusted numbers to look at the 'subcortical' region related to brain size, the comparisons became a lot closer! There is no big difference between the sexes generally! The biggest difference we find in Brain analogy, is the total function of the (sexist?) 'brain stem'! With its 'Medulla, Pons, and Mesencephalon' structures. The brain stem has existed for '600 - 420' million years! And it continues to be questioned about many of its 'covert' sexual tendencies!
Why then, (with so many checks and balances) do we have so much continual sexual trouble? The simple answer is 'Hormones!' And they are as old as man's brain stem! Man, (by nature) is 'not' Monogamous! He (and she) is 'polygamous' (by nature) this means they 'both' would like to diversify!' And this is plain language! 'Monogamy' is a 'learned' (unnatural) behavior! And, it is important to remember, that 'many' of us have not learned or practiced this behavior well! Many, (again) of us really 'attempt' to control our emotions, but for 'unknown' reason, they cannot! Unlawful 'sex' can be a 'one-way' ticket to 'gross financial difficulty!' (And a 'wild' sexual life!)
And so, 'Hormones' is the 'guilty' partner! But without which, we would have no 'civilization'! Or foundation upon which to lawfully function! Without hormones we have no interest in sex, or procreation! No sex, no people, no society! So, we must have coition! 'Morality' is a 'learned' societal control system! A control system to which many do not conform! But the 'lack of its' influence insures societal 'procreative chaos!' With a lack of the mainstays, courtesies, and 'barriers' that we all hold dear! Morality insures societal, and 'safe' advancement!
*Sexual orgasm is 'hormone' dependent! … 'Love' is not!* ('God' vs the Devil?)
Marital affairs have sprouted-up almost 'everywhere'! It is important to note; all affair participants in many marriages start off in 'spontaneity'! (No preparation) 'However,' many affairs today are planned and deliberate! In analyzing the mind, we can find no fault with the sexual desire, but the lack of control may be a psychological one. But it remains true, that many people can have many affairs and not interrupt their marriage to the other partner. (Polygamy) This is because the love desire is still there, even when 'morality' isn't! Love, my fried, is a 'fatal attraction'! Desire can be devastating, and pervasive, but at best it's only a temporary and 'transient'! emotion! And if you're really in love, you don't want sexual foolishness to destroy your love interest! (And it can!)
Why does this 'mistake' exist? It only exists because 'Mother Nature' ('not' a deity) respects childbirth more than marital standards! (A human invention) Morality (in this case) comes in second. But faced with this dilemma, (here is the million-dollar question?) 'how does one deal with 'infidelity'? So far, the only answer is to 'lie'! And this has been done from 'time immemorial' to today! Every animal, Insect, fish, and bird does it! This is not a good answer, but it's very 'real' one. This infidelity has broken-up countless marriages (or unions) since 'prehistoric times'! Chemically, there is no reason for a separation. But for moral reasons, that is another matter. But for 'eternal', civilized, and 'human' reasons: Not 'lust', but 'Love' will always exist!' (Even after death!)
In this world of scientific fantasies, the types of 'ethereal' and real entities are all the same. The afterlife (if it exists) may be just 'another' plain of existence! And it may be inhabited by 'all' previously alive human beings! Or reincarnation could happen instantly, and flawlessly! The 'transmigration' of the soul from one body to the next may happen seamlessly! But husbands and wives wherever they are (throughout) heaven, or "?", will always, (if even vaguely) remember their love! (But only if it was true love)
It matters not whether they are here, or there. On this planet, or the next, 'Spouses will always, be in love forever'! If we were to analyze all the 'untoward' things we've done in this world as a person, there is always perhaps 'two things' we would like to forget! One thing may be the 'separation'! (If you have separated) But the other even 'bigger' thing is …well …! We can confess everything else but … 'that'! And whatever 'that' is, 'no one' but 'you,' really knows! But you know well, 'what you 'did'! And forgiveness on 'that' day, 'must' happen! But only 'God' can forgive even 'that', and every other 'contemptible' sin you may have ever committed! … 'How to live (and die) with, what you 'can't' live down'? …'Forever'? … Just 'sincerely' ask!
*Some people that separated, 'needed' separation! Those of you with dependent children, please allow the 'Stepmother, or Stepfather relationship to 'naturally' develop, without your 'undue' interference!*
In life, most of 'you' deeply know what true 'love' is, you've greatly experienced it! But, until, that fateful day when everything is revealed, I will cherish my own family and home with my beloved wife, and my three children. My children, now in various states with their own families, will continue to love us as we love them. I will tell you this, 'love' is very much 'worth' your time and effort! Because, in spite of all 'they' will tell you …
"For all 'professional' and 'Lay' people alike!"
'Love' is all there is! 'And 'nothing' else (in this life and beyond) will ever 'matter!' (Please remember this) The entire brain system is 'Perplexed' by Love!' And for my wife: "Just thinking of 'parting' from you, is all I need to know of Hell! 'I will 'Always' Love you!' May God bless these 'wonderful' readers. And as always, stay well.
'Oh captain, my captain! our fearful trip is done. Our ship has 'weathered' every wrack, the 'prize' we sought is 'won'! - Walt Whitman
All the Best,
Henri W. Tartt,
Supervising Chemist &
Chief of Microbiology (Retired)
City of Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
Email:henri@henriwtartt.com
Website:*Tartt's Scientific Approach*